10 ways to unshackle yourself from phone addiction
- Rose
- Apr 1
- 6 min read
Updated: Sep 16
How damaging are doom-scrolling and swiping addictions?
By Ahuv de Chazal
Imagine a science lab set-up: Rats are given unlimited access to cocaine from a lever-operated dispenser. Their consumption increases day by day, week by week, until they reach physical exhaustion and even death. Another group of junkie rats get access to the same substance with the same set-up, but only for one hour a day. This group didn’t increase their consumption over time but consumed steady amounts.
Most of us can probably agree that cocaine is pretty serious. But using our phones? We all do it openly, without shame. Waking up and looking at our notifications, scrolling whilst waiting for the train on the platform and placing our phones on top of the dining table are incredibly common. Studies have shown that phone usage decreases our attention spans, reduces our dopamine levels from things that would otherwise make us happy, ie, making us feel unable to feel pleasure. Frequent TikTok usage has been shown to increase levels of comparing yourself to others and FOMO, which in turn increases your felt need to check the app more often. Young people who spend 7 hours per day on their screens are twice as likely to be clinically depressed or anxious. The more we mindlessly use our phones, the more likely we are to feel overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, unhappy, tired, lonely, depressed and exhausted.
Mobile phone addiction is quickly gaining more recognition as a serious threat to our health. But are you really addicted?
Addiction (noun): The continued and compulsive consumption of a substance or behaviour despite its harm to self and or others.
Sounds like many of us would fit this description with our phones. But this is not your fault! Our brains have not evolved to deal with these devices that humanity has only been using for less than two decades. Yet, slowly, we are learning how damaging unlimited smartphone consumption can be. Our culture will adapt in the future as we will all become more aware. “The Offline Club” is just one example of a phone-free counterculture emerging. But for now, it is up to us to learn how to use these tech toys more responsibly.
Reality check
What was your phone’s screen time yesterday? (iPhone: Settings > Screen Time)
<45 minutes: You must have had a good day with interesting things happening and low anxiety.
45-2h: Somewhat average, depending on how you used that time.
2-4 hours: Risk Zone. Whilst not necessarily damaging per se, it again depends on how singularly focused you were. Watching a film on your phone? Okay. Jumping back and forth, scrolling without aim to escape your thoughts… not good.
4-7 hours: Here is where studies confirm serious effects on mental health, making you twice as likely to develop anxiety and depression.
8-14 hours: Serious phone addiction that is impacting you and the people around you. You will benefit from a professional to help you.
Take action
So here are 10 concrete steps to have a healthier relationship with your phone:
Set real emergency rules
Not every notification needs tending to instantly. You don’t need to be available at all times. You are allowed to leave your phone behind when you go for a lunchtime walk outside.
“But what if there is an emergency?” a lot of people ask. The thing is, we have all accidentally slipped into the expectation that if you’re needed, you are just an instant text reply away. But what is the cost of this unwritten rule? It does feel like you are almost obliged to your family, friends or business to always be reachable. This is why it’s really important to draw healthy boundaries. Tell those who depend on you to call if something really urgent needs your attention. Making an actual phone call has become less common, and people are inclined to be hesitant, often preferring texting. And if your text or WhatsApp notification tone is similar to that of other apps, you will be drawn to your phone with every sound of a “bing!”. Although you could set custom notifications for specific apps or people. My grandma for example, is the only person in my life who uses Facebook Messenger, so its unique ringtone lets me know it's her messaging before I even grab my phone. Explain to those who may need you that you will not check notifications instantly anymore. Anything that can wait a few hours can be a text or email. Anything that is an actual emergency needing instant action is a phone call. Simple.
Consider certain daily moments sacred
What things that you do daily do you depend on for survival? Sleep and food are obvious answers. Poor sleep and a quick lunch will get you by on a particularly stressful day. But is this how you want to live by default? Guard these moments that are crucial to a quality life. Make them holy and keep unholy disturbances at arm's length. Think of staying away from your phone for certain moments as an act of self-love.
Use an old-school alarm clock
71% of adults never switch off their phone according to a 2023 study. If your phone is right next to your bed, you’re so much more likely to grab it first thing in the morning when getting up and facing the day may seem too much. "Perhaps if I check my messages, it’ll make me happy and forget the horrible dream I just had". This is the fallacy. Don't even tempt yourself and leave your phone on airplane mode; switched-off or in another room overnight altogether. Use an alarm clock to wake you up (or your smart speaker).
Use app-blockers or time limits
Scientists tell us that limiting social media usage to 30 minutes per day increases happiness significantly. Yet, most of us enjoy unlimited time based on our time and needs. Have you ever noticed how on days you’re feeling hungover or particularly anxious you might say to yourself “I shouldn’t mindlessly doom-scroll but my days been so shit, I deserve this..”. It’s a slippery slope because 10 minutes become 30 or 60 or two hours before you know it, and more often than not, we DO NOT feel better or more relaxed but dazed and with more brain fog. The iPhone's native “App Limits” function or apps like Opal that limit screen time help you see how much you’ve really used your phone and to limit the apps you don’t NEED but are so addictive. Go easy at first, start with 1 hour, then 45 minutes and then go down to 30 minutes per day. If you depend on any of these apps for work, see if you can use them on your computer instead and thus separate leisure and professional use.
Compete on screen time
Share this article with a friend who needs it. If they agree, make them a digital detox buddy and check in weekly with each other what your daily average screen time. Who can have it the lowest?
Mute all notifications
Yes, all. Then, enable notifications for phone calls. Then, continue through the long list of apps and manually enable those you need. In this, you undo the mess that was created when you downloaded 200 apps and all of them have notifications enabled. Guard your notification settings like you guard your life.
Use custom focus modes
Focus Modes beyond “Do not Disturb” can be set up to stay in control of what is allowed to take out of what you're doing throughout the day. Imagine setting your phone to "Reading" or "Fitness", during which you have access to specific apps like a dictionary or your music apps but not Instagram. This makes it less likely to mindlessly open apps whilst resting between exercises at the gym.
Single-task to sharpen your focus
When studying or working, use a method like a Pomodoro timer, which forces you to stay focused on work for 25 minutes at a time and then gives you 5 minutes to tend to your social media urges or text replies.
Consider a longer digital detox
Sometimes, your addictions are so strong, you need to check yourself into rehab (so to say). Consider a month off from your most offending app: Log out of your favourite social media platform and give your password to a friend who is instructed not to give it to you until a date you agree upon, perhaps one month or until you’ve worked out 20 times. Consider a half day, a hike or even a short holiday break with your phone left at home.
Offer: Get a free alarm clock
If you’re worried about anxiety and depression caused by phone addiction, schedule a free 20-minute consultation with me. At the end, I will send a free alarm clock to the first 10 clients whether you decide to book further sessions or not. Limited to the UK.
Yet, withdrawal symptoms are a real thing when you put down your phone. Phone addiction doesn’t stop when we put down our phones. But we can change this, thanks to our brain’s ability to change through effort (neuroplasticity).
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